23 julio, 2010

Apocalyptica - I Don't Care

I don't care at all!

I MET A NEW ONE & HE LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU


You were a hard scar to heal, my love. That was some war you fought to stay under my skin.
"I miss you" still affects me. I guess that is just the long-flowing aftermath of love. You watch the ones who promised to love you forever, love someone else. Maybe they miss you. Maybe they are just selfish. Maybe they are just as happy as they are pretending. Maybe they are secretly unhappy and wished things were different. Who knows?
Love doesn't end. Love just floats around in between all the messy stuff life throws at us: people, places, situations & ego. The realization that you weren't validated by someone capable of seeing your true greatness, can be hard on your heart.
I say... revel at the unfortunate limit of their vision.
Poor them, they couldn't see how bright of a light you were in their life & now you're busy shining for someone else.
I said I would love you forever... I meant I would love you until I loved someone else.

01 julio, 2010

GOSSIP IS THE NEW BLACK

Every few years, something happens to make me remember why gossip is so awful. For the most part, I stay away from people who gossip and those who make themselves feel better by talking about the faults of others. I think this is one of the strongest suits of my character. But I make mistakes sometimes... we all do.

I was really proud of my friend for sticking up for me when some co-workers were beating me down with the words. It was the day I got my job. I am not a stupid girl. I know why some of you are around, and you admit it, and so do I. I do not care how we found each other, only that you stayed, were inspired and maybe inspired me too!

When I got this job, I was in the middle of some shocking heartbreak. It was terrible. The mere mention of anything about him made me cry. I was just strong enough to keep it together for 8 hours at work, and on this one day, on lunch, I was upset, crying and complaining. Heartbreak makes you do silly things, and took a lot of this amazing blessing out of focus for me. ANYWAYS, point of the story, my friend Cass came to my defense on this attack and said that they didn't really know me and that they didn't know the whole story, what had happened, and how broken I was. It takes a very strong person to not join on a bandwagon... of any kind. It is easier as humans to just agree, be nasty, and make ourselves feel better at the expense of others. I see this a lot... people with fake self-confidence, picking someone to hate because they cannot be big enough to fix the things they hate about themselves.

Anyways, this week, I went on a date. I cannot believe I am back in the dating world. I told a few details of my date to some girls, in which they screamed out and then everyone knew, talked about and asked about. I think I have learned that you gotta keep your personal stuff private, that way when someone makes a fool of you, you do not look like a fool to everyone, and instead just to yourself. So everyone was chatting about me and everyone knew my business. Not cool.

End of story, it is always best to talk about sunshine and rainbows, guys and girls can never really be "friends", gossip hurts, I had a date and it was fun and gave me hope that there are people (Men) who think I am worth all their best efforts.

I also think that life is about growing up and it is sort of like fitness. You can work out and eat right until you reach your perfect body, but if you start eating junk again, you will lose it. Same thing with the soul. Being a good, compassionate person is work, and we must all work at it each and every day and there will never be a point in life where we reach a point where we can slack off in that department. The minute we stop being aware of the power of our words and actions, there is a chance that we can really hurt someone else... or even ourselves. If we make a mistake, we must say sorry and start again fresh and work even harder at being enlightened.